The Snape-mobile is a death trap for the birds of the air and the beasts of the field.
First, there is the assortment of squirrels and chipmunks. They barely count. Darned things are suicidal. Way to stop in the middle of the road and then turn around to dive under my wheel. Clever, little creeps. Now I'm stuck with the guilt of your little act of hari-kari.
And then there was the mouse. In all fairness, the Snape-mobile did not kill the mouse. I think. All I know is, I got into the van with a friend, our delicious summer ice cream cones in hand, and there, sprawled underneath my CD player, his little pink paws stuck up in the air, was a dead mouse. That was so, so not okay. All I could picture was a whole family of them nesting in the back, and one day one of them would leap onto the brake... just as I went to slam it with a bare foot. I could almost feel the furry little body being crushed under my toes... Yeah, that one screwed me up a little while.
And then there was Mr. Bird! Smack! On the windshield! As I was listening to the Beatles! And instead of hitting the windshield and sliding off, he gets stuck under the windshield wiper! No crap. And I'm driving on, mesmerized by his little body splatted on my window... So I had to pull over, pick his limp, bloodied body off my car with a stick, wipe the blood (!!!) off my windshield with a tissue, and continue my trip to the soundtrack of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand". I thought that was was as bad as it could get.
I was wrong.
Last night the Snape-mobile claimed another forest victim.
BAM! Deer under the car!
No, I did not hit the deer. I ran over the deer. (It was a very little deer.) 9:45 on 125, 55 mph, pitch black, bright headlights, and a dark shape that barely is there before WHAM! Left tire up, THUNK, and then I was past it. Yeah. I screamed. Really loudly...
The Snape-mobile - the Pied Piper of the Road...
By the way, if you're still waiting for the spiritual component of this post... I'll get back to you on that. Maybe.
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